And then I blurb...

2006-05-19T11:50:00.000-07:00

HAPPY BEERDAY

KATRINA LOZANO!!!!

I MISS HER..

2006-05-12T20:13:00.001-07:00

There are times when I just wanna look at your face...

That's how I feel..

I miss my Ate Stef.. She was always nice to me.. she never said anything bad against anybody.. She was just pure and sweet and honest.. Now that she passed..the family would never be the same again.. We miss her.. If your wondering who my Ate Stef was.. Imma give you a quick bio..

My Ate Stef was born to Celsa and Boy Calipusan. She had 2 siblings..Ate Sheryl and Shoun. She graduated college and her RN license.. She started working as a nurse in St. Francis Hospital.. That's in a nutshell.. but yeah.. She was the queen of pix and karaoke.. She is beautiful inside and out..

What happened? We don't really know.. Police investigation isn't over yet.. But the prelim. report said that they skid into a hill going back to Kim's house [the bf] in Seattle. She went there to visit him for his bday. Friday night they went to watch a concert. It happened.. Rescuers found Kim first..apparently they got thrown out of the vehicle.. If Kim didn't wake up, the rescuers wouldn't know Ate was there with him. He told them that Ate was in the car so they searched for her.. The car hit her and was on top of her..I assume that's why they couldn't see her..

So.. they brought her to the hospital.. no brain activity anymore.. a day being on life support..her organs started fail.. so they finally have to decide whether they want her organs donated.. and they did.. even if it was hard.. At least Ate's healthy organs will help somebody else.. she's still live in our hearts and the people she's going to help..

I love you Ate.. We all miss you.. I know you're looking down on us..and you want us to be happy..happy because you're in a better place and that because God has a plan for you and for us..

Ang pangarap koy nagmula sa’yo
Sa’yong ganda ang puso’y di makalimot
Tuwing kapiling ka tanging nadarama
Ang pagsilip ng bituin sa’yong mga mata
Ang saya nitong pagibig
Sana ay di na mag-iiba

Ang pangarap ko ang ‘yong binubuhay
Ngayon nagmamahal na sa’kin na tunay
At ang tinig mo’y parang musika
Nagpapaligaya sa munting nagwawala
Ang sarap nitong pag-ibig
Lalo pa noong sinabi mo

Chorus:
Dadalhin kita sa’king palasyo
Dadalhin hanggang langit ay manibago
Ang lahat ng ito’y pinangako mo
Dadalhin lang pala ng hangin ang pangarap ko

Nang mawalay ka sa aking pagsinta
Bawat saglit gabing lamig ang himig ko
Hanap ang yakap mo haplos ng ‘yong puso
Parang walang ligtas kundi ang lumuha
Ang hapdi din nitong pag-ibig
Umasa pa sa sinabi mong

RepeatChorus

Umiiyak, umiiyak ang puso ko
Ala-ala pa ang sinabi mo
Noong nadarama pa ang pag-ibig ko

Repeat Chorus

Ang lahat ng ito’y pinangako mo
Dadalhin lang pala ng hangin ang pangarap ko

Noones gonna sing with me na.. but its okay... we will remember the memories we have in our hearts.. I LOVE YOU Ate...

Stefanie Grace P. Calipusan

August 5, 1982 - April 23, 2006

Somewhere in my dreams tonight
I'll see you standing there
You look at me with a smile
"Life isn't always fair"

You say you were chosen for his garden
His preciously hand picked bouquet
"God really needed me,
That's why I couldn't stay"

It's said to be that angels
Are sent from above
I've always had my angel
My cousin - whose heart was filled with love

Wherever the ocean meets the sky
There will be memories of you and I
When I look up at that sky so blue
All I see are visions of you

"While there's a heart in me, you'll be a part of me."

IT's Been Awhile

2006-03-17T20:47:00.000-08:00

It's been a long time since I last posted something here.. School is getting into me.. This 28th will be our last day of school.. but on the 27th is our last term final..but on the 30th will be our Exit test..

That is scaring the heck outa me.. cause if I dont pass the exit test..My board papers wouldn't be sent out.. Hai.. I dunno if I'm gonna make it.

Anyways..Today has been a not-so-good-day for me..but yesterday was the best!

Yesterday..me and my clasm8s went to Disneyland..It was so much fun..but my legs were sore until today..I've been in this crazy thing called diet and exercise.. It's an accomplishment but it's a pain in my butt..hahaha.. SURE it is.. everytime I perform the Kegel Exercise for the heck of it..it does hurt.. especially when I stretch or whatsoever.. Anyways.. It was soooo much fun with Sara, Jen-L and Tracy :D but I miss my friends in PI more..

Copied from MAXIM

2006-02-16T08:18:00.000-08:00

100 Things You Need to Know About Women

You know not to forget her birthday and that her favorite flowers are purple tulips. But you need the complete list. Please use it responsibly.

Maxim, Nov 2005

100. Girls enjoy always having something kind of wrong, like a headache or cramping or something. Remember: No matter how bad it sounds, she’s going to outlive you.

99. Most women will not have sex for the first time with a guy unless their legs are shaved. If your date shows up and you spot stubble, she’s trying to keep herself in line.

98. No matter how much she reassures you, if you can’t get a hard-on she assumes you’re not attracted to her.

97. Beware of your girlfriend's single party friend or gay bud. They want her to be single with them and will encourage any bad behavior as often as possible.

96. Jewelry. Now you always knkow what to get her for a last-minute gift.

95. The sight of you in your socks and underwear is the biggest turnoff in the world.

94. Never trust a girl who has no girlfriends. She doesn’t get along with other women because she’s either bat-shit crazy or just plain mean.

93. Girls who say, “I love sports!” are lying. Girls who ask you what time the game is on, without specifying which game they’re talking about, are not.

92. A random hookup is more likely to result in pregnancy, because a woman has more sex when she’s most fertile.

91. She still has all the love letters and cards from her past boyfriends.

90. Just started dating? Women want you to drive, even if it’s their car.

89. A girl would prefer to get a $100 gift from Tiffany & Co. than a $500 gift from Fortunoff. Why? Because her friends will ask where she got it.

88. “If I give you my number on Friday, Tuesday and Wednesday are your best bets to score a date. Monday is too desperate, Thursday is too late.”—Claire, 27

87. Your female coworkers are obsessed with the fact that on average they receive less pay than male counterparts—and the fact that they work less overtime and get pregnant is irrelevant to the discussion.

86. Laying a towel down over the wet spot is like putting your jacket over a mud puddle for her, you noble bastard.

85. A recent study revealed that natural blondes could be extinct in 200 years, so unless she’s Norwegian, her towhead might be bottled.

84. Sixteen percent of American men have been with a prostitute—scientific proof most women are decent in bed.

83. Women always want to believe what you’re saying is true.

82. What do women really want in bed? More blankets. They get colder than men.

81. The threesome is not about you; it’s about the two girls. If you’re lucky enough to score one with your girlfriend, enjoy sex with the other one because there’s a good chance it’ll end the relationship.

80. If women have an excuse to take a pill, they’ll take it.

79. Never trust the woman who gives you the best blow job you’ve ever had.

78. “I hate when my boyfriend is sweaty and tries to lie down on top of me or cuddle after I’ve come. Wait five minutes.”—Erin, 21

77. The average woman kisses 79 men before getting married.

76. She hates your Xbox more than she lets on. Blow her off for some gaming and she’ll soon stop wasting time on a dork like you.

75. Women who are obsessed with their dogs also like to keep their men on a short leash.

74. “Girls who buy their men lap dances and pretend to enjoy it are kidding themselves. They’re trying to keep him happy with some controlled freedom.”—Suzy, 31

73. Over the course of her life, a woman will use 10 men for every one she loves. If you lent her your car or helped her move and didn't get laid, you're one of the 10.

72. During emergencies, women are likely to remain calmer than men. Though it should be noted that inventing minor crises on a weekly basis gives them more practice.

71. “Women grow hairs in a lot of the same places that men do—lower abdomen, nipples—we just get rid of them.”—Katie, 26

70. Unless they’re lesbians, she won’t approve of your hanging out with other girls. Even if they’re ugly. And, really, even if they’re lesbians.

69. If you have something to hide, she’ll find it.

68. Eighty-five: The number of males per 100 females in Gary, Indiana, lowest male-to-female ratio of any city with a population of 100,000-plus. The highest male-to-female ratio is in Salinas, California: 114 males for every 100 females.

67. Kiss her before two dates have gone by or you’ll be “friended.”

66. They can't live without tension. Every once in a while she's gonna pick a fight with you for no reason. Accept this as a running, inevitable theme and your relationship will make a lot more sense.

65. The most painless way to end an argument: Let her win.

64. An online dating service’s survey found that a woman’s ideal man has brown hair and blue eyes.

63. In the U.S., 21 percent of women ages 18 to 59 hold out for their honeymoon.

62. A British study claims a woman’s chances of getting married drop by 40 percent for every 16-point rise in her IQ. The same increase in IQ for a man boosted his chances of getting married by 35 percent.

61. When a woman tells you her problems, she does not want you to offer solutions.

60. Women often cite manhandling of breasts as the biggest foreplay faux pas.

59. “When I’m drunk, I can’t come. Not even with a vibrator.”—Lauren, 35

58. If they're going to do it, most wives cheat between the ages of 18 and 29.

57. Most women think they’re better drivers than they are. Don’t point this out while she’s at the wheel or she’ll freak and crash.

56. Women ingest about half the lipstick they apply, which means they eat approximately one to three sticks per year.

54. A woman might say she just wants sex, but sleep with her for a while and she’ll change her tune. “I’ve known so many women who think they can pull this off, but they always develop feelings for the guy,” says Evie, 22.

53. According to the American Association of Facial Plastic and Reconstructive Surgery, Angelina Jolie’s lips were the most requested celebrity feature among all female patients in 2004.

52. Despite always complimenting another woman’s short haircut, she secretly celebrates having one less competitor, since men prefer long hair.

51. Don’t call her “cute.” In her mind it’s the same as “not vomit-inducing.” “Sexy,” OK. “Hot,” yes. “Fucking awesome,” only if she’s at least slightly buzzed.

50. Women often buy shoes a size or two small because they’re in denial about the size of their feet—which they can’t stand.

49. They dream of one day peeing in a urinal.

48. Women know where they stand looks-wise but worry about being considered cool, about which they’re unsure.

47. According to the U.S. Bureau of Statistics, 23 percent of 18- to 34-year-old women live with their parents, versus 31 percent of you losers.

46. Women want to talk dirty, but they’re afraid you won’t respect them in the morning. Reassure her that letting go in bed doesn’t make her less classy and she’ll probably go wild. Jäger helps.

45. Twenty-three percent of this magazine’s readers are women.

44. A psycho jealous girl will do anything to keep her man—including anal.

41. If she suddenly cuts her hair short, it might mean she no longer cares what you think of her. But that doesn’t mean she doesn’t care about someone else’s opinion.

40. About half of all brides will lose a good friend over a ridiculous bridesmaid squabble.

39. It never hurts to say you're sorry, even if you don't mean it.

38. Let her beat you at something once in a while—poker, chess, Ping-Pong—and she’ll be more likely to give you what you want, like some peace and quiet.

37. Women’s public bathrooms are about three times more disgusting than men’s.

36. “At one point or another, I’ve gone through your things looking for any evidence from past relationships. I’m talking photographs, postcards, mementos, address books, diaries. If you don’t like it, get rid of this stuff before letting me in your apartment. It’s not about trust; it’s about curiosity, and it drives us crazy till it’s been satiated.”—Caroline, 28

35. Like you, girls hate nothing more than a clingy partner who needs them every eight seconds.

34. Chick rock strikes a deeply primal chord inside women while simultaneously revolting men. Just sit back and let her sing the Sarah McLachlan or Ani DiFranco song. It’s only about four minutes long.

33. The average woman owns eight bras and wears each one five times before washing. Shasta!

32. Girls will not sit on any toilet outside their own home or a five-star hotel. Everywhere else they’re hovering above the toilet in a squat.

31. Got a new girl coming over? Your (tidy) bathroom should include clean linen, a box of Puffs Plus, and several full rolls of TP.

30. “Don’t caress our faces while we’re kissing, unless you really, really, really like us.”—Rachel, 21

29. On a first date, women never order what they really want to eat.

28. Breast augmentation surgery has grown by 257 percent since 1997. The most popular size? C-cup. As if you didn’t know.

27. Gain her trust when you’re out by calling her at 10 P.M. She’ll go to bed content you’re thinking of her, even if you’re slurping Jell-O shots off some skank’s cleavage.

26. Put down the Drakkar and grab a box of Good & Plenty. Women are turned on by the scent of black licorice.

25. At least one of her friends wants to sleep with you.

24. A good but flawed man is a fixer-upper gem, and women love nothing more than home improvements.

23. Every woman is self-conscious about her ass. Tell her you love her ass and you’ll see it more often.

22. If you want more sex, tell your girl an attractive woman hit on you that day. Sixty percent of the time, it works every time.

21. More than half of surveyed females between 18 and 25 would prefer to be run over by a truck than be fat.

20. All women think they’re smarter than their partners in some significant way.

19. The more piercings she has, the more places she’ll let you put it.

18. Once in a while, let her pick the movie and don't complain about it.

17. Any good woman will tell ya, honesty is not always the best policy.

16. Chicks aren’t afraid to get kinky; you just have to have the nerve to ask.

15. Girls don’t want to date doormats. So make her proud and refuse to give up bowling night with the guys.

14. Don't take a woman to a concert you really want to see—she'll just want to leave early.

13. “Women appreciate a big penis, but having one doesn’t give you an excuse to suck at foreplay.”—Elena, 28

12. Studies show women are more attracted to “macho” guys near ovulation. The rest of the month, they’re drawn to “good providers,” otherwise known as chumps.

11. She likes one of your friends.

10. Ugly girls like to hang out with pretty girls because it makes them feel like they're more attractive. Pretty girls hang out with ugly girls for the same reason.

9. The minute she decides she’s even mildly interested in you, she starts making mental pictures of what your kids would look like and imagining her first name with your last.

8. Sixty percent of women in the United States color their hair, according to L’Oréal (who are obviously hoping they can peer-pressure the other 40 percent).

7. Dated a stripper? Keep your mouth shut, stupid.

6. Rub a sheet of medium-grade sandpaper across your face. That’s your five o’clock shadow when you kiss her. Now rub that sandpaper on your inner thigh. (Mind you, we’re not suggesting you shave.)

5. Female serial killers tend to use poison rather than guns or knives.

4. Foghat’s “Slow Ride” is not about a trip in the car. Get the hint?

3. The one breakup line she’ll never be able to argue you out of: “I’m sorry, but I no longer have feelings for you.”

2. Buying a present for your girl? She’ll hate it (and you) if she finds out you took along another woman to help pick it out.

1. You'll probably never know how many guys she's slept with. The standard lie is five. Which really means about 12.

Something To Ponder On

2006-02-08T08:22:00.000-08:00

The one who loves you or the one you love... this is also for those who are waiting for the person they love to love them back openly, to those who are looking for love and those who know that their love is not meant to be... Sometimes, in our relentless efforts to find the person we love, we fail to recognize and appreciate the people who love us.

We miss out on so many beautiful things and simply because we allow ourselves to be enslaved by our own selfish concerns. Go for the man of deeds and not for the man of words, for you will find rewarding happiness not with the man you love but the man whom loves you more. The best lovers are those who are capable of loving from a distance, far enough to allow the other person to grow, but never too far to feel the love deep within your being. To let go of someone doesn't mean you have to stop loving, it only means that you allow that person to find his own happiness without expecting him to come back.

Letting go is not just setting the other person free but it is also setting yourself free from all bitterness, hatred, and anger that you keep in your heart. Do not let the bitterness rare away your strength and weaken your faith, and never allow pain to dishearten you, but rather let you grow with wisdom in bearing it. You may find peace in just loving someone from a distance not expecting anything in return. But be careful, for this can sustain life but can never give enough room for us to grow. We can all survive with just beautiful memories of the past but real peace and happiness come only with open acceptance of what reality is today. There comes a time in our lives when we glance upon someone so nice and beautiful and we just find ourselves getting so intensely attracted to that person. This feeling soon becomes a part of our everyday lives and eventually consumes our thoughts and actions. The sad part of it is when we begin to realize that this person feels nothing more for us than just a friendship... don't be so bitter about it! For it is a kind of FRIENDSHIP that will last for a LIFETIME!!! We start our desperate attempt to get noticed and be closer but in the end our efforts are still unrewarded and we end up being sorry for ourselves. You don't have to forget someone you love. What you need to learn is how to accept the verdict of reality without being bitter or sorry for yourself. Believe me; you would be better off giving that dedication and love to someone more deserving. Don't let your heart run your life, be sensible, and let your mind speak for itself. Listen not only to your feelings but to reason as well. Always remember that if you lose someone today, it means that someone better is coming tomorrow: If you lose love that doesn't mean that you failed in love. Cry, if you have to, but make sure that the tears wash away the hurt and the bitterness that the past has left with you. Let go of yesterday and love will find its way back to you. And when it does, pray that it may be the love that will stay and last a lifetime. "When I lost you, I was the one who loved you most, but between us you lost more. For someday I can love someone the way that I loved you but you will never be loved again the way that I did."

People come into your life for a reason, a season or a lifetime. When you figure out which one it is, you will know what to do for each person. When someone is in your life for a REASON it is usually to meet a need you have expressed. They have come to assist you through a difficulty, to provide you with guidance and support, to aid you physically, emotionally, or spiritually. They may seem like a godsend, and they are! They are there for the reason you need them to
be. Then, without any wrongdoing on your part, or at an inconvenient time, this person will say or do something to bring the relationship to an end. Sometimes they die. Sometimes they walk away. Sometimes they act up and force you to take a stand. What we must realize is that our need has been met, our desire fulfilled, their work is done. The prayer
you sent up has been answered. And now it is time to move on. Then people come into your life for a SEASON.

Because your turn has come to share, grow, or learn. They bring you an experience of peace, or make you laugh. They may teach you something you have never done. They usually give you an unbelievable amount of joy. Believe it! It is real! But, only for a season. LIFETIME relationships teach you lifetime lessons, things you must build upon in order to have a solid emotional foundation. Your job is to accept the lesson, love the person, and put what you have learned to use in all other relationships and areas of your life. It is said that love is blind but friendship is clairvoyant. If you love me, let me know; if you don't, let me go...

Happy Bday

2006-02-06T15:46:00.000-08:00

Happy Bornday
Raisa!!!

I was really planning to call you but the thing was, I don't have your number.. So, I'm sorry.. Ria's will be coming up soon. I hope you both will have a great time. ;)

Friday: Clinicals. I was in ER. It was boring that day.. compared to last Thursday. The nurses were mean and all they made us do was change linens.. GAY! Compared to last Thursday where we were the ones who triaged people, weighed children, MAKE BEDS, gave enemas and all sorts of stuff. Anyways, after standing and hanging out in ER, we went to kick it in the other floor in Med Surg and DOU. People were busier there. We helped them.. at least made ourselves useful. Since almost everybody was whining to go home early, Ms. Elliot finally let us.

We went to NoodleWorld to eat. I didn't eat my Assorted Pan-Fried Noodles.. =( I ordered the wrong darn thing.. but oh well.. We went to the mall afterwards. On our way to Santa Anita Mall, I WAS DRIVING RIGHT. This stupid Asian Infiniti-Driver wanted to go to my freakin lane, where I WAS. He didn't even turn on his darn signal lights and didn't eventually look at the damn mirrors or even bothered to look over his shoulder, CAUSE IF HE DID, HE WOULD HAVE SEEN ME. ARRRRRGH!! People like that makes me mad.

HAHAH!! Forgive my EDITING SKILLS, not really good at it. Anyways, so I HONKED MY ASS OFF AND made him mad. Screw him! ALL HIS FAULT. ANyways, so there.. We safely arrived in the mall and bought my sunglasses..

On our way home, I GOT LOST.. Well I exited in PASADENA cause the 210 was really traffic. Instead of taking the Fair Oaks North Exit I took the Fair Oaks South Exit so I went the other way.. MY savior was my BF.. hahah.. Look at the MAP cause i'm lost.. ahahha!! ANYWAYS..

Saturday: STAYED HOME.

Sunday: STAYED HOME. Watched the SuperBowl and did homework. Watched Gray's anatomy. CRAMMED for today's test.

Monday: Went to school. Took the test. Got a low A. Still GOOD. GOOFED around in class. Went to the bank. Deposited money for mom and here I am.. blogging..

This was taken in the classroom. Very close range. Janelle took it..who is sitting at my back.. so you know what i mean.

Sunglasses

2006-02-04T20:15:00.000-08:00

Haha.. hi guys.. i brought new sunglasses.. haha.. my own Nicole Richie sunglasses.. hahaha.. wala lang.. na sayahan lang ako.. wala pa kasi akong chika.. meron pero natamad..kaya.. sunod na lang muna yun.. sa ngayon.. e2 muna.

Arguments

2006-01-31T13:56:00.000-08:00

Haha.. I dunno why that's my title but the past 2 days, I've been a bitch to Leo. I've been in the butt and all I do is piss him off. I admit it..sometimes I like arguing, but it's more like I just want attention. HAHAHA! TRUE.. but embarassin.. Now, I convinced myself to stop cause even I, myself, am getting annoyed by what I'm doing. What more him? haha.. anyways, it's a girl's thing.

Other than arguing with him, we really have a good time together. We always laugh and get cranky together when we're hungry. So last Friday, we went to eat with my classmates to celebrate my b-day *kuno*. We ate Buca de Peppo in Pasadena. FOOD was GOOD. yeah! GOOD... pero I still miss the pasta I always eat at Dulcena. hmm, carbonara..hmmmmmmmm.. Oh well. wala yan dito! But yeah, pictures are in my Multiply just click my links on the bottom left.

All I've been doing is school, school and school. Nothing else. it's really tiring cause our teacher is nothing but a sweet lady who doesn't know how to teach. She gives us a bunch of handouts we need to learn and discusses about something we don't even need. If she wasn't nice, we would have been pissed.

Anyways, maiba naman ako.. Have you guys experienced the "Ex-BF Syndrome?" Haha.. It's just one thing I made up when the ex bf comes into action again. Well okay, I haven't told Leo, well I should but in a way I did tell him that Topet texted me happy bithday.. Well I really didn't see anything wrong with that until the past couple weeks, he's been texting me and still calls me "Bing." Yeah, at first it was fine until he implies things like "I hope you haven't given up on us." and says JOKE.. umm..

Well yeah, at first..it's nice to be friends with EX BFs.. Don't get me wrong..it's just that sometimes, the EXES go far beyond the line. It just is annoying. One more thing, when you wanted them, they weren't there..but when you don't need them anymore, they come running to you. SUCKS cause they act like nothing happened.. Oh GOSH.

Ex-BF Syndrome.. what can I say? It's flattering, yes..but I hope we all realize our limitations and where we should stand. Cause honestly, right now it's not cute..it's disgusting. Anyways.. friendship should be treasured for life, but reality should always be seen. ANd you have to make sure, what do you really want. Cause you can't say something and mean something else.

I feel bad for hurting his feelings..but I'm happy with who I am with and what I have right now. So "ex-bfs" it's really your loss in the end huh?

BOYS being INTERSTED with other GIRLS

2006-01-25T12:54:00.000-08:00

MY bf has been talking to someother girl HE thought was the PRETTIEST in JA's DEBUT!

Now, tell me how on earth you want me to feel? HAPPY? EXCITED??

HELL NO!

If there's one thing I feel right now is that DAMN THOSE BOYS.. It's more like it doesn't really matter how many pictures of us he puts in his stupid sites cause him askin some girl to chat with him online..is outrageous by itself.. so........... It makes me MAD.

Yea, she definitely is pretty.. Maybe his eyes are like this everytime he sees her pic.

To make much worse.. He CHANGED. HE just did! I should have known this will happen. Guys just tend to cheat. Not reall physically but in the back of their minds I know.. I know.. he is so damn interested with that girl cause if he wasn't.. then he wouldn't have TALKED TO HER ON THE FIRST PLACE.

Screw boys and their insensitivity. Screw boys and their lies. Screw boys and the drama they bring.. Screw boys.. SHEEEEEEEEEEEET!

The girl he's so interested in. I definitely need to watch my back now.

Birthday Day

2006-01-24T17:04:00.000-08:00

Well.. see.. haha..nothing "interesting" really happened today.. But last weekend was a blast. BF gave me alot of FOODs.. Basta, icecream cake, cassava cake, leche flan.. YUMMY!! so totally had fun other than the movies..

I would still wish and think and daydream that some people would surprise me with a birthday cake that says "happy bday jessa" or with balloons.. That's like the typical b-day for kids..but I don't think it's gonna happen.

Since my b-day happened to be in a weekday, school day for most people..it tends to be sad. HAD TO TAKE A STUPID TEST this morning, which I had to cram for.. Bf isn't here cause he has school. Parents? umm.. not doing anything for me.. CLassmates? Working.. Friends? Far.

Oh well.. :( sadness.. but my parents' b-day gift for me is an IPOD.

One wish down. Hope BF will give me the Vans shoes..and imma buy myself one of those sunglasses. Prolly the cheapest one. WHY AM I BROKE? SHEEEEEEEET! I never was then.. Oh well.. But yea, bdays are supposed to be fun.. ideally..

50 Things Girls Wish Guys Knew

2006-01-24T16:44:00.000-08:00

50 Things Girls Wish Guys Knew

1. Don't tell us when you think other girls are hot.

2. Whenever possible, please say whatever you have to say during commercials.

3. If you don't act like soap-opera guys, don't expect us to dress like Victoria Secret models.

4. Mark anniversaries on a calendar.

5. There is no such thing as too much spooning.

6. Just because you L the C doesn't mean we have to S the D.

7. This is how we see it . . . Don't call = Don't Care.

8. Which also means that if we don't call, take the hint.

9. We like you to be a little jealous . . . but overly possessive is not necessary.

10. Putting things in our butt does not turn us on.

11. Return favors: we massage, you massage; we go down, you go down; we shave, you shave (and not just your face).

12. Foreplay is not an option . . . its a prerequisite.

13. We're allowed to be late . . . you are not.

14. Eye contact is key.

15. Don't take longer to get ready than we do.

16. Laugh at our jokes.

17. Three words . . . honesty, honesty, honesty.

18. Girls can be groupies. Guy groupies are stalkers.

19. We never have to wonder if your orgasm was real.

20. Do not start with us. You will not win.

21. Would you like it if a guy treated your sister that way? We didn't think so.

22. If you ask nicely, we usually answer the same way.

23. We will never have enough clothes or shoes!

24. We have an excuse to act bitchy at least once a month.

25. Open the door for us no matter where we are . . . even at our house and getting into the car.

26. We love surprises!

27. We liked to be kissed softly, not with an iron tongue.

28.Pay attention to the little things we do, because they mean the most.

29. Boxers and maybe boxer briefs sometiems . . . NEVER whitey-tighties, NEVER!

30. Clean your room before we come over.

31. Always bursh your teeth before you see us . . . a fresh mouth and white teeth are a necessity.

32. When we use our teeth it means that you suck at going down on us, so we are just returning the favor.

33. Even though you are sometimes insensitive and hurt us, we still love you with everything we are.

34. Hit it and quit it, because later I'll be with you're best friend and he lasts for hours.

35. Don't act hard around your friends because I won't make you hard tonight.

36. Sometimes "NO!" really means "NO!"

37. "Wife Beaters" are not an adequate form of fashion.

38. If we wanted to be on video tape, we'd be a porn star not your girlfriend.

39. Sensitive guys are great . . . but crying more than we do in a movie just isn't right.

40. Don't let ex-girlfriends cause drama, relationships are stressful enough.

41. It takes a special kind of stupid to forget birthdays.

42. Guys who are good cuddlers = guys who know how to satisfy a woman.

43. "Fat Chicks" have feelings too.

44. Silent treatment, shoulder shrugs, tears, yelling and nasty looks all add up to . . . YOU DID SOMETHING WRONG!

45. If you are not a good dancer, please be self-aware.

46. Just because a girl doesn't pick up on the first ring doesn't mean she's not waiting by the phone.

47. You don't have to spend a lot, if it means a lot.

48. Don't say you love me if you don't mean it.

49. Don't lie to us . . . we will catch you.

50. When the girls get together, we talk about EVERYTHING. Meaning my best friends know everything about you

B-day Wishlist

2006-01-19T14:36:00.001-08:00

Hi everone.. 5 days from now and it's my birthday.. Any hints on what I want? Any of these will do.. :D

Sunglasses can be found at Nordstrom.com =)..

Ipod of course at Ipod.com

and my long-wanted Vans shoes at Vans.com =)

Thanks in advance.. hahah!!

New Phone and Ja's Debut

2006-01-18T09:20:00.000-08:00

Hi..I'm back with another one. I didn't really want to bombard you guys with a very long post so I divided it into two. The first thing that happened after New Years was me getting a new phone. Talk about being spoiled, eh? haha!! This is the link for my new phone, SE K750i. If I come to think about it, USA lags when it comes to technology so I dunno if my phone is all that nice..but needless to say, I really like it alot.

Here are some sample pix my phone took [I didn't photoshop them]:

All straight out from my phone. Anyways.. Last 14th, we went to attend Ja's debut. Well..HMmm.. Syempre na OP ako.. Cause we didn't really know anybody there other than Janika. So, Leo and I sat on the corner seats alone in the corner table.. We were teasin each other na pano kaya kung walang tumabi samin.. HAHA! nakakahiya raw.. Which is so true but Ja's mom made her friends sit with us.. They were friendly.. and we ended up takin pix together.

Ja was wearing a dress at first..but hey, after the program..changed into jeans kc mainit daw at masakit ang paa..COMEDY talaga..pero style nya yun :)

SEE..we met new people :) FUN at the end..

Happy NEW YEAR!

2006-01-18T08:57:00.000-08:00

Happy new year everyone.. sorry ha.. sometimes I tend to forget that I have a blogie to update. It's just that sometimes, I get too overwhelmed by what's happening to me in real life that it makes me go nutts and lazy to post.. hahaha! Oh well, sorry mga friends..pero e2 na ang bago kong post :D Pagpasensyahan na kung magiging mahaba ha..

After my crazy, mad, distrubing last post.. I realized there's no room for me to get mad at Leo.. haha.. I'm being dramatic and stupid and I dunno.. He's proven himself to me and my parents that I couldn't ask for more.

Okay..what happened to me last month? Of course, Christmas.. We attended a Christmas Party hosted by LOBOC Association.. Of course.. people from our town went. It was alrgiht. Not as fun as last year.. simply because they chose to celebrate it on the 24th at 1200pm. Who do you think would go? haha!! Here are some pixies..

Some of my cousins were there and that was it. Christmas day, I was at Wrigley's house kickin it there. I didn't get to have a break, so that means I went to school for the next 3 days before New Years..

New Years, we celebrated at San Francisco at Kuya Fritz's house. His house is freakin huge compared to their last.. but it's still fun. I learned how to ride a bike and play pool :D but yea..that was it..

Just when..

2005-12-16T18:45:00.000-08:00

Life, bwesit paminsan-minsan. Just when you think everything is going the right way, things to swerve a lil bit and hurt you. Lies are unfold. People you think you can trust betray you. How nice huh...

I won't elaborate, pisses the hell outa me.. The thing that makes me angry is that I ASKED. I don't care if it's part of your past. I don't care how ugly it was. I don't care if it's full of shit, cause if I love you, I would and I should and I will eat your past and start a fresh present with you. If you can't trust me enough about your past that you have to deny it from me..or you want me to see a picture that really isn't it, well hey buddy.. something is wrong with you. I DONT CARE WHAT YOU SAY!! I DONT CARE HOW YOU THINK. YOU HURT MY FEELINGS. YOU BETRAYED ME. YOU LIED TO ME. YOU DENIED STUFF FROM ME. DO YOU THINK YOU DESERVE ME AND MY TRUST?

I love you with all my heart, but I need you to tell me the truth. I need you to tell me everything. You shouldn't hide anything from me if you love me. Cause if you love me, you wouldn't wanna hurt me. Lying to me makes things worse, not better. Do you just want me to love the superficial you? Cause if so, I don't really love the person in you, I only love the drawing you created for me to see.. I love you.. but you give me reasons to doubt.. What in the world are you thinking!?

I'm Back

2005-12-14T14:32:00.000-08:00

Hi guys.. i'm back and alive.. well it's really busy and tiring these days.. well, call me lazy. I must admit, I had extra time to do the bloggy thing, but just didn't wanna post stuff..okay.. let me try to remember what happened to me the past few months? haha!! okay..

Nov 24 let's say.. Thanksgiving day get-together with the cousins :D here are some pixies..

Well, after thanksgiving, time for the ball game.. *see that Puma jacket i'm wearing..i think i lost that last Sunday while doin the laundry..:D

:( sadness..boooooo! oh well, I'm guessin somebody took it..it's the only thing I lost..oh well..BOO!!

So, small things happened.. I don't even wanna post them here..but the thing is.. We went to six flags last Sunday.. here comes the pixies..

FUN day..as always.. cant think of more to put.

pix

2005-11-14T19:09:00.000-08:00

oh.. im the nicole richie..LOL

GOOD MORNING WORLD..haha..wala na naman akong magawa..sorry la akong ibang posts kundi pix.

anyways..we went to chowking one saturday..and jollibee..DARN ang mahal ng tinda nila..haha!but never the less, e2 ang mga pix.

YEAH, we ate TAHO. guys..para akong nanibago..ang tagal na since ko last kumain ng taho..ANG SARAP! hahaha! sige na nga..la na tong kwenta!

aniv

2005-11-09T22:45:00.000-08:00

haha..fine..wag na kayong magalit.. :P wala lang talagang magandang nangyari sakin kaya cool lang kayo.. :)

indeed, chocolates and flowers are girls' best friends..hahah..hindi na diamonds e.. wala lang..trip ko lang daw kunwari i-share..haha..kc aniv nmen ng loveydovey ko :P di ba? hahah.. so e2..new pix ulet.

Updates..

2005-10-15T06:47:00.000-07:00

And she said:

Si Kat ang nagrequest nito..and I'll do anything for her..hahaha! cause i love her..LOL

Yun nga..ang quote ko ngayon is "I'll do anything for the one that I love." BAKET? kc sinabi nya sken yun.. ang sama ko ba? We had this whole idea of forgetting Princess in our life..like not making her a part of it..so we had a deal we would delete her in our YM Lists and cellphones..but I made him delete her from his Friendster and Myspace..well for all the while I thought I'll be part of it..but it wasn't..

Now I'm thinking it was a bad idea..When she discovered he deleted her, she texted him and told him it was a stupid way to lose a friend..blah blah blah.. I felt bad cause I knew it was my fault..and that I knew he still wanted to be her friend.. But now everything is too late. She won't be his friend anymore.. But he said he didn't regret doing it.. Cause if that made me happy and not worried, then there's no problem..

See..he's doing all of these for me..but I'm still thinking twice..at first I did, but now..not anymore.. I so love him to let him go.. I must love him cause the thought of losing him scares the crap outa me.. Now I'm not thinking about those kinda stuff because of everything that he did for me. I feel secure now.. SEE, hindi lang si MARA ang corny.. ako din..haha! pero anyways.. UPDATES..more pix..

ASTIG KAMI!

TATAE AKO!! ALIS!! hahaha..gaga talaga!

DON'T..don't..DON'T KISS ME! haha!

OO na, mga weirdo nga kami!

BAD DAY..

2005-10-07T16:08:00.000-07:00

oh i swear..i'm having one of the worst days of my life...

it all started by hitting another person's car parked in the middle of our driveway. no matter how hard i tried..i still hit him..haha..it was my fault, yes..but it pissed me off.. if only he parked his car right..i should have been fine. i should not have hit him..but oh well..

anyways, yeah..life is good to me other than that.. but still "humahabol parin ang malas" anyways... e2 pala ung mga pix namin ni ja :D

WHAT IS LOVE?

2005-09-30T20:50:00.000-07:00

Tomorrow ko nalang ipopost yong konting pix namin ni Ja..so as of now..e2ng cute survey muna :D

What is love?

A group of professional people posed this question to
a group of 4 to 8
year-olds, "What does love mean?" The answers
they got were broader and
deeper than anyone could have imagined.

"When my grandmother got arthritis, she couldn't
bend over and paint her
toenails anymore. So my grandfather does it for her
all the time, even
when his hands got arthritis too. That's love."

Rebecca- age 8

"When someone loves you, the way they say your
name is different. You
just know that your name is safe in their mouth."

Billy - age 4

"Love is when a girl puts on perfume and a boy puts
on shaving cologne
and they go out and smell each other."

Karl - age 5

_____

"Love is when you go out to eat and give somebody
most of your French
fries without making them give you any of theirs."

Chrissy - age 6

_____

"Love is what makes you smile when you're tired."

Terri - age 4

_____

"Love is when my mommy makes coffee for my
daddy and she takes a sip
before giving it to him, to make sure the taste is OK."

Danny - age 7

"Love is when you kiss all the time. Then when you
get tired of kissing,
You still want to be together and you talk more. My
Mommy and Daddy are
like that. They look gross when they kiss"

Emily - age 8

_____

"Love is what's in the room with you at Christmas if
you stop opening
presents and listen."

Bobby - age 7 (Wow!)

_____

"If you want to learn to love better, you should start
with a friend who
you hate,"

Nikka - age 6
(we need a few million more Nikka's on this planet)

_____

"Love is when you tell a guy you like his shirt, then he
wears it
everyday."

Noelle - age 7

_____

"Love is like a little old woman and a little old man
who are still
friends even after they know each other so well."

Tommy - age 6

"During my piano recital, I was on a stage and I was
scared. I looked at
all the people watching me and saw my daddy
waving and smiling. He was
the only one doing that. I wasn't scared anymore."

Cindy - age 8

"My mommy loves me more than anybody. You don't
see anyone else kissing
me to sleep at night."

Clare - age 6

"Love is when Mommy gives Daddy the best piece of
chicken."

Elaine-age 5

_____

"Love is when Mommy sees Daddy smelly and
sweaty and still says he is
handsomer than Robert Redford."

Chris - age 7

_____

"Love is when your puppy licks your face even after
you left him alone
all day."

Mary Ann - age 4

_____

"I know my older sister loves me because she gives
me all her old
clothes and has to go out and buy new ones."

Lauren - age 4

_____

"When you love somebody, your eyelashes go up
and down and little stars
come out of you." (what an image)

Karen - age 7

_____

"Love is when Mommy sees Daddy on the toilet and
she doesn't think it's
gross"

Mark - age 6

_____

"You really shouldn't say 'I love you' unless you mean
it. But if you
mean it, you should say it a lot. People forget."

Jessica - age 8

_____

And the final one --Author and lecturer Leo Buscaglia
once talked about
a contest he was asked to judge. The purpose of the
contest was to find
the most caring child.

The winner was a four year old child whose next door
neighbor was an
Elderly gentleman who had recently lost his wife.

Upon seeing the man cry, the little boy went into the
old gentleman's
yard, climbed onto his lap, and just sat there.

When his Mother asked what he had said to the
neighbor, the little boy
said, "Nothing, I just helped him cry"

Long Time Ago..

2005-09-28T13:34:00.000-07:00

said:

Hi guys.. I know it's been a long time since I last posted here.. I've been really really busy with school and other crappy stuff to deal with. So before anything else, I would like all of you to know that I'm okay. :) I've been really happy the last few weeks. The reason why I weep is the same reason that I grin.

Life is just that funny sometimes..Pero siguro dapat ko lang aminin sa sarili ko na pag nagmahal ka, kasama na doon yung sakit..hindi lang puro saya.

Sige..sige..kc unfair naman sa ibang wala talagang alam.. OKAY HERE IT GOES..

You know that Leo and I broke up naman noong April diba.. Yeah siya yan..noong time na wala na kami..syempre di kami nagusap.. natural lang naman siguro yon.. Doon dumating sa picture KO si JP. Ayon..naghang kami..nagdate oo na.. Pero things didn't turn our right. So when I stopped talking to him.. Leo came back in the picture..but this time.. he started hanging out with a girl named Princess.. Eh di ayon.. Leo started to like her..And she did too..But at the same time they were hanging out..Leo and I started things over..we started as friends and became what we always were.. Sweet to each other..lets each other know we care.. So yeah.. Lets say..things escalated into a path between friendship and bf-gf. At the same time, Princess thought Leo wants to pursue her..

So things got complicated. I started getting mad at him for hanging out with her.. And I got jealous of her too.. Well, Leo always reassured me that things are okay.. That all he wants from her is friendship now.. Yeah, he admitted.. HE liked her at first but he says he wants me to be his gf..OR at least he'll choose me over her. Yes, that made me happy.. So he finally introduced me to her.. Hoping that I'll stop getting mad. So he did.. Yes, I was so nice to her.. so nice that it hurt me too.. Cause I know I wanted LEO all by myself. I wanted her to know that..but Leo's doing it step by step.. So yeah..a week passed Leo was always with me.. LEO chose to be with me.. But he has to end what he started with her.. She doesn't know that I know.. but in ways, I don't want her to get hurt.. I don't want her to feel like I betrayed her or something.. But yeah.. things are complicated but it's easy.. Leo does his part.. and so should I.. it's just hard.. But yeah..

I have to learn to accept that she's part of the past..even tho it conflicted with my present.. anyways, here some crazy stuff me and Leo took last Saturday..

Pretty stupid and funny.. But I'm happy he's choosing to be with me.. I'm happy he's making an effort now..and I'm happy I'm going to term 3.. 6 more months and school will be over.. =P that's why I've been busy..

Right Person

2005-09-20T14:10:00.000-07:00

Finding the right person is very hard
and very wrong. It is best to be the right person
for
the one you love and start from there.You'll
always
end up disappointed when you set standards and
define a "right person" for you...and don't rush
things coz somewhere somehow God is preparing
somebody for you."

Don't be in a hurry to get into a relationship
because you can never find love if you insist that
you are already into it. Try to find time to really
understand your real feelings, to know who you
really are, and what you really want in a
relationship.

You're right, there's no such thing as a perfect
relationship, but there's a compatible partnership
that goes along with it. If you already knew that
you're too big to fit into a small sized t-shirt,
don't
give it a try. You'll probably break it and pay
for the
damages you have made. If you knew and felt that
the relationship will not last, don't go deeper
into it.
You'll just suffer the consequences and live like
hell for the rest of your life. It's really hard
to say
goodbye though, but you can't make it any better
by just pretending you still have the same
feelings.

Try to let go and give yourself a chance to live life
to the fullest. Give yourself a chance to grow and
give your heart a much needed attention. Then
you
will find that you have made the right Decision and
you made it all by yourself.

We call it love when we can't leave someone and
see them crying as we try to let go.We are wrong,
it's just pity. We call it love when we're too
attached and think that losing the one we love will
somehow make us weak and unable to face the
storms of life. We misunderstood; it's just that
we're too much dependent to them.

We call it love when we give our whole life to
them,
the wholeness of us and imagined that if they
leave, no one would accept us and our past. We
are mistaken, its just insecurity. But no matter
what the definition is, the truth still remains that
love isn't something you can buy or beg. It is real
and existing. You can't touch it but you can feel it
in your heart. You can't find it, but it will knock
before you when you least expect it to come. It
can make you the happiest soul in heaven, but
don't forget that it can also make you the most
miserable person in the whole galaxy.

"When you lose someone... and you think you
were the one who loved most, between
the two of you... he lost more. For someday you
can love someone the way that you loved
him...But
he will never be loved again the way that you
did..u;)

2005-09-08T17:19:00.000-07:00

1. If a man wants you, nothing can keep him away. If he doesn't want you, nothing can make him stay.

2. Stop making excuses for a man's behavior.

3. If you have ANY doubt in your mind about a man's character, leave him alone.

4. Allow your intuition (or spirit) to save you from heartache.

5. Stop trying to change yourself for a relationship that's not meant to be.

6. Don't force an attraction.

7. Slower is better.

8. Never live your life for a man before you find what makes you truly happy.

9. If a relationship ends because the man was not treating you as you deserve then heck no you can't "be friends." A friend wouldn't mistreat a friend.

10. Have faith in God regarding your relationship, but don't let faith make you stupid. God does things decent and in order.

11. Don't settle.

12. If you feel like he is stringing you along, then he probably is.

13. If he keeps changing his mind about the relationship - take that as a BIG sign that he is unstable. Do you really want to be with a man like that?

14. Don't stay because you think "it will get better." You'll be mad at yourself a year later for staying when things are not better.

15. Honorable men take care of their business and aren't involved in a whole lot of mess.

16. The only person you can control in a relationship is you.

17. There's only one 'reason' a man dumps you; he doesn't want you.

18. Avoid men who've got a bunch of children by a bunch of different women. He didn't marry them when he got them pregnant, why would he treat you any differently?

19. You really do have to kiss a few frogs before finding the prince.

20. Always put yourself and your happiness first.

21. Always have your own set of friends separate from his.

22. Maintain boundaries in how a guy treats you. If something bothers you, speak up.

23. Like from the show Sex and the City, if he doesn't call, he just isn't that interested.
24. Be honest and up-front.
25. Know when to cut the cord, don't be strung along.

26. Don't fall for the "I'm confused role." Remove yourself from the situation to let him figure things out (but don't wait for him, move on).

27. If you want to have a clue as to how he will treat you, watch how he treats the WOMEN in his family (not just mom).

28. There's more than physical abuse, there's emotional and mental abuse. If he causes any of them...flee.

29. You cannot change a man's behaviors. Change comes from within.

30. Don't let him place rules on you that he is not willing to follow himself -- double-standard.

31. Don't EVER make him feel he is more important than you are...even if he has more education or is in a better job.

32. Do not make him into a quasi-god. He is a man, nothing more nothing less.

33. Demand respect and if he can't give it, he can't have you!

34. Don't compete with other woman, but be aware that men are attracted to what they see.

35. If you think he is cheating, he probably is. Confront him right away and if you feel he's lying, let him go.

36. Actions speak louder than words.

37. Never let a man define who you are.

38. Never rely on a man for compliments, look to yourself for that.

39. Never borrow someone else's man.

40. If he cheated with you, he'll cheat on you.

41. Just because he says he loves you, doesn't mean that he won't hurt you and it doesn't mean that you are meant to be with him.

42. To use painful hard-won wisdom-- 'get it right' the next time.

43. Know that you deserve to be the number one person in the life of the ..1 person in your life.

44. Love is a verb.

45. Learn to give up your lifelong task of trying to make someone unavailable-available, someone ungiving-giving, and someone unloving-loving.

46. A man will only treat you the way you ALLOW him to treat you.

47. All men are NOT dogs.
48. You should not be the one doing all the bending...compromise is a two way street.

49. If you don't love your self...you can't love anyone else.

50. You cannot mend someone else's broken heart.

51. You need time to heal between relationships...there is nothing cute about baggage...deal with your issues before pursuing a new relationship.

52. You should never look for someone to COMPLETE you...a relationship consists of two WHOLE individuals...look for someone complimentary...not supplementary.

53. Dating is fun...even if he doesn't turn out to be Mr. Right.

54. NEVER give more in a relationship than you are getting out of it.

55. Never become your man's "therapist".

56. When actions and words conflict, believe the actions. Respond to the actions.

57. A real healthy relationship requires two people. One person can mend it, but it takes two to make it work.

58. Don't fall for the "I'm not the loving/romantic type"...when a man loves you there is nothing in this world (within reason) that he wouldn't do for you.

59. Make him miss you sometimes...when a man always know where you are, and you're always readily available to him he takes it for granted.

60. Give him his space...let him go out with his boys, don't pressure him to spend time with you. You can't force a man to hang out with you.

61. If you wouldn't allow your daughter to be with him you shouldn't.

62. Never let a man know everything. He will use it against you later.

63. Never move into his mother's house.

64. Provide financially for yourself and don't depend on anyone.

65. Never co-sign for a man.

66. Never believe you have the perfect guy and he is so innocent.

67. Never spoil your man; let him spoil you.

68. Never let a man mess up your credit.

69. When it's time to let go; let go.

70. Good men should be treated like good men.

71. Don't play games.
72. You can't make a whore into a housewife - or husband.

73. Don't fully commit to a man who doesn't give you everything that you need. Keep him in your radar but get to know others.

74. Compatibility in terms of educational attainment, values, beliefs, personal and career goals, and socioeconomic status, are important.

75. Never date a guy who wears colored contacts.

76. Never believe a man who says "that's just my baby's momma", you can
be sure, there'll be drama.

77. Never believe a man that tells you he wants to be with you, while he's with someone else, - if he wanted to be with you, he would make it happen more sooner than later.

78. Don't be a man's doormat, make him open the door for you, because a real man would do this on his own.

79. Dealings with a married man, most likely won't work out in your favor.

80. There is someone out there worthy to be in your life, let out the trash so he can come in.

Eventually

2005-08-30T17:12:00.000-07:00

eventually, ONE of TWO things will happen ::
[+] he'll realize you`re worth it
[-] or you`ll realize he isn`t. .

CHANGE..and CHANCE..

2005-08-29T21:19:00.000-07:00

In some point in time, I got contented with what I had with him.. But now, it's not about what I want.. I'm done with that part which I want to get my way.. I'm trying to get rid off the drama.. and spare myself for a possible heartache..

I'm happy being single but sometimes I miss the times when someone makes lambing to you and all that..but along with that is crap sometimes.. HEADACHE and CONFUSION.. in some point I didn't feel that.. but when CHANGE is about to come.. then I feel it..

Waiting means giving yourself a chance with that person..but if CHANGE doesn't permit it to happen..I guess I have to go along with the flow.. It hurts but silently.. I've done this before.. and I will.. I just know..

Sad

2005-08-16T16:07:00.000-07:00

Today, I read something.. I don't know if I had to interpret things for myself.. I dunno if me feeling bad is a right thing to feel..or at least reasonable.. I dunno if I'm only dragging myself in a situation where at the end I'll feel like an idiot.

Well it sucks when someone you cared about the most does not feel the same thing for you.. Well it didn't say that way but that's the impact to me.. I FEEL SO MAD AND SAD AND FUCKED UP.. I feel like crap.. I don't know.. THIS DOESNT MAKE SENSE.. I KNOW! but if you don't wanna read it...go ahead..LEAVE!

I've been finding stuff to hurt myself..I AM THE ONE PLACING MYSELF IN THIS KIND OF SITUATION.. somebody..kill me.. OH GOSHY.. I feel soooooooo stupid for doing this to myself.. argh! I don't even know why I'm doing it.. DARN IT!

Well, regrets however.. I know he felt with me.. he would rather be there than here.. that sucks! :( SUCKS SOO BAD!!!!!

MOVIES

2005-08-15T17:43:00.000-07:00

Hey peeps..I know it's been a long time..I've been really busy with school and all.. Anyways, I know my past layout was crappy..so I hope this one works better..

OKAY..chika time! Last weekend, all I did was clean, did the laundry, went my parents to some party at West Covina.. went home at around 5am Sunday morn.. slept.. woke up around 11.. did some errands.. and went to the Grove.. at the Grove..where the excitement began.. haha. SHIT! as if! anyways, I bought a pair of sunglasses..were I thought they were cute so I bought them.. they're the ones in my about me section.. or my primary photo in myspace and friendster... woshhoO!! hehe! Never the less, I was walking around..looking for possible cute stuff to buy..BUT the Grove is just an expensive place to shop.. Well at least for me.. I DON'T WORK! I'm BROKE! hehe..

But yeah.. I'll save money so that I can shop at an outlet or something..or when there's a sale going on..or even at Ross..or at Downtown.. BUT YEAH.. why did I say it was exciting? Well..I watched a cool movie..and a funny one..

First thing we watched was FOUR BROTHERS Well this is the poster

I hope you like it.. well WATCH IT! I sure did like it.. It was a good movie in general.. WELL SCOPE: They came to bury their mother.. and their mother's killer.. haha!

The next one I watched was the Wedding Crashers.. You know about it cause it's kinda popular..haha! But yeah.. It was funny..but I liked Four Brothers more.. I LIKE ACTION MORE THAN COMEDY..remember? hehe! So yeah.. That's pretty much it..more to come soon!

Kat's Write-up

2005-08-04T17:16:00.000-07:00

Name: Katrina Grace _____ Lozano
Nickname: Kat, Trina and Zano
Birthday: May 20, 1987
Address:__________, Quezon City, Philippines
Contact number: ________________
E-mail: kat_lozano@yahoo.com
Affiliation: Geeghong, ___________

Description: Kat is a person who is full of mysteries. At first glance you'll think you know her int he palms of your hands but if you give yourself a little more time to think about it, you'll prove yourself wrong. Kat may seem quiet, snobbish and intimidating but once you'll meet her..once you get to know her, you'll see that she is one bubbly, energetic, compassionate and sweet person. But she's not just that, in times of great need, she's the type of friend you can call up 4:00 am in the morning and wouldn't let you down. She's one tough girl in the outside but has a one big heart.

Test

2005-07-30T12:17:00.000-07:00

wala lang..nakakatawa ata to..

Your love is... by ChibiMarronchan
Your name is...
Your kiss is...	breath taking
Your hugs are...	warm
Your eyes...	light up a day
Your touch is...	irresistable
Your smell is...	amazing
Your smile is...	encouraging
Your love is...	one of a kind

Quiz created with MemeGen!

KATE

2005-07-28T20:20:00.001-07:00

HAPPY BIRTHDAY KATE!!

2005-07-28T20:20:00.000-07:00

good old days..

2005-07-28T20:18:00.000-07:00

our cool times here..

2005-07-28T20:15:00.001-07:00

i miss you

2005-07-28T20:15:00.000-07:00

kate..

QUICK UPDATE

2005-07-27T20:03:00.000-07:00

Okay..I think I need to take a break from studying cause it's not getting into my brain.. the information is not being processed. Anyways.. Over the weekend, we went to the OC area.. Anafran's grandma's viewing.. she died because of malignant melanoma. While that sad thing happened to the Varquez's..another sad thing happened to my cousin's family.. The Corales.. Wrigley's grandpa died because of several complications.. And I heard about Apple's grandpa too. How sad.. But let's just think that it's part of living..at least by now..they'll be at peace.

Anyways..Monday.. a desk fell on my head.. it's small one..mounted on the wall of Monterey Park Hospital..happened during clinicals.. At first I didn't feel anything but the next day when I woke up, I had a bad headache so I got checked.. The doctor said I'm fine for now..we'll monitor if it gets worst and if I feel vomiting and stuff like that..

Back to school..we're having a quiz.. about muscles still..but now.. it's about cast care..canes..arthritises..haha..did I spell that right? Oh well.. Anyhow.. I better get back to studying and ace this test if possible.. I NEED POINTS...as much as I can.. So pray for me guys..and by the way..did you guys answered my quiz?

QUIZ

2005-07-26T08:10:00.000-07:00

Take my Quiz on QuizYourFriends.com!

MUSCLES anyone?

2005-07-21T21:20:00.000-07:00

Lesson for today: MUSCLES..

I know it's not even all...but they are just weird..I'm trying to remember as much.. so bear with me..
1) Sternocleidomastoid
2) Trapezious
3) Pectoralis maximus
4) Latissimus dorsi
5) Rectus abdominis
6) Apponeurosis (lining)
7) Gluteus maximus
8) Biceps
9) Triceps
10) Deltiod
11) Quadriceps group
12) Hamstring group
13) Gastrocnemius
14) Sartorius
15) External abdominal oblique

OMG.. I can't even right it all correctly..well i did there..but that's the only finish product..this is killing me..hehe..a lil..so yeah.. i better study more... MAN!! FCUK this..haha!! oooppppsss!!!

The Musculoskeletal System

2005-07-20T20:41:00.000-07:00

Haha..okay my lesson isn't easy.. it's about the musculoskeletal system.. it aint easy.. you all know i hate memorization..but that's what i'll be basically doing.. or what i've been doin..just that i have to memorize more this time.. anyways.. I'm memorizing the frontal bones..sinuses..epiphyseal lines and crap..haha.. but yeah.. I hope this will be fun.. I HOPE SO.. anyways.. whats up guys?

Oh.. I feel bad cause one of my closest friend's granda died.. I really do feel sorry for their loss.. I hope by means I'll be able to ease some of An-An's pain and grief.. I know it's a tough time for their family..

Back to studying now.. HOPE YOU UNDERSTAND GUYS.. busy si lola ;) haha!! miss ko na kayo lahat..

TEST

2005-07-13T21:25:00.000-07:00

i have a new post.. and it'll be boring.. haha..i don't really know what to place except for the obvious.. i have a new layout as you can see.. isn't it cutE? lolz.. but never the less.. i wanted everyone to think about this..

never ever be cocky and careless about any test.. even tho you know that you've studied.. never be cocky like me.. hehe.. i made alot of mistake because i wasn't reading carefully.. i was being arrogant that i know those stuff..and i miss 4.. man..see..if ever..i would have missed 2 only..2 stuff we didnt cover..so it won't be as frustrating as this..but hey.. it's okay..i'll learn from this mistake..

oh by the way guys..i love the song COOL by Gwen Stefani.. Check it HERE

2005-06-27T05:25:00.001-07:00

three.. :D CHEESE!

2005-06-27T05:25:00.000-07:00

two..

2005-06-27T05:24:00.000-07:00

one..

2005-06-24T20:15:00.001-07:00

ahaha..are u drunk!?

2005-06-24T20:15:00.000-07:00

ate naty :) BJs..

2005-06-24T20:14:00.000-07:00

ohhh.. i love my clinical group!!!!

2005-06-24T20:13:00.002-07:00

gary and me.. he is just so obvious!!

2005-06-24T20:13:00.001-07:00

sokna and me..what do you think is wrong with her? hehe!

2005-06-24T20:13:00.000-07:00

marlene, me and amber

2005-06-24T20:12:00.002-07:00

patrick and me

2005-06-24T20:12:00.001-07:00

the two lovers..gary and patrick

2005-06-24T20:12:00.000-07:00

patrick, ate len and lily

2005-06-24T20:11:00.001-07:00

kuya lito and me

2005-06-24T20:11:00.000-07:00

amber and sokna :D..sokna is sooo CRAZY! hehe

PISSED

2005-06-22T23:10:00.000-07:00

im soooooo fucken pissed right nowwww................

or im being selfish? FINE.. I ADMIT.. I KINDA AM! but hey..is it wrong if i still wanna talk?????????????????????? MAN... whatever JESA!

I FAILED

2005-06-22T20:16:00.000-07:00

Oh my gosh people..it's depressing enough that I FAILED MY FIRST HESI TEST.. meaning my quarter test.. anyways.. Sort of..yes it is! it's serious stuff for me.. but knowing that it's not just me who did bad in the test made it all okay.. We seriously didn't cover almost all of the questions..but anyhow..that's not an excuse.. But at least I'm passing.. in general.. I need TO STUDY. STUDY like I USED TO DO.. so yeah..

But never the less..everything is doing well.. Almost..hehe..my mom is so cool these days..and my dad is the one who is strict in some ways.. He's just being a dad..i surely understand..that's why I love him soooo..

Anyways.. there are some pix if you scroll down.. DONT WE LOOK CUTE? hahahahah!! omg! :P anyways.. my mom said we look cute together..hahah.. omg..imma shut up now! later guys!

2005-06-22T19:15:00.000-07:00

me and bronx :D isot's house..same night tho

2005-06-22T19:14:00.001-07:00

me and juris :D

2005-06-22T19:14:00.000-07:00

juris :D

2005-06-22T19:13:00.002-07:00

i forgot her name..hehe..janelle's bday

2005-06-22T19:13:00.001-07:00

anafran and nic.. janelle's bday

2005-06-22T19:13:00.000-07:00

now i want a baby sis...

GARY.. I wanna stranggle you!

2005-06-10T16:04:00.000-07:00

I just want to kill my classmate Gary..haha! Not really..but close.. I just hate it when people make promises they can't keep.. Oh well.. he owes me money right..and he's like..tomorrow..tomorrow..tomorrow.. WELL, I'VE BEEN REALLY NICE! but it doesn't mean you guys can abuse that.. ARGH!! It's not that I badly need it..he just promised.. If he was like..I left my wallet at home right from the start of the day, it would have been different.. He was like.. yes Jesa, I have it. Then the next thing I know..he's like I don't have it with me.. SHIT! WHO YOU KIDDING? I cussed! haha! well.. I said: "YOU'RE A FUCKIN' LIAR GARY!!" haha.. oh well.. MADE ME MAD! I'm not talking to him.. cause the essence of TRUST was already compromised.

Next..hehe!!! I hate making care plans.. I'd rather be on my feet the whole day doing wound care than doing care plans.. CARE PLANS SUCKS EVERYTHING IN MY BRAIN.. It's gay for me.. You don't get to spend time with patients as much cause you're doing care plans..which sucks.. It's for people who do not have patience... WHICH SHOULDN'T BE NURSES at the first place.. haha! WOUND CARE is more NURSING-like..

Anyways.. SO much for clinicals.. Well at least after Gary pissed the crap outta me.. My special someone left me a message..and made my day..haha! I'm corny like that..SO.. WTF!? What do you care? haha.. anyways.. I'm happy..lookin forward to Monday.. HAHA!! WEEEEEEEE!

2005-06-06T16:28:00.001-07:00

ohhhh..lala!! haha.. crazy peopleee!!

2005-06-06T16:28:00.000-07:00

an-an's hand..and nic..what are u saying?!

2005-06-06T16:27:00.001-07:00

huh? the cam's here!!

2005-06-06T16:27:00.000-07:00

juris..wassup!? haha!!

2005-06-06T16:25:00.000-07:00

me,nic,an-an same night..waaa..hyper!!!

2005-06-06T16:24:00.000-07:00

juris,anafran,jp and me.. :D fun times..

Survey..

2005-06-05T14:08:00.000-07:00

Your Dominant Thinking Style:

Exploring

You thrive on the unknown and unpredictable. Novelty is your middle name.
You are a challenger. You tend to challenge common assumptions and beliefs.

An expert inventor and problem solver, you approach everything from new angles.
You show people how to question their models of the world.

Your Secondary Thinking Style:

Visioning

You are very insightful and tend to make decisions based on your insights.
You focus on how things should be - even if you haven't worked out the details.

An idealist, thinking of the future helps you guide your path.
You tend to give others long-term direction and momentum.

What's Your Thinking Style?

2005-05-31T18:27:00.000-07:00

with the gurls..

2005-05-31T18:23:00.000-07:00

ME and my BRO, Penny.. waaaaa..SO FAT!

2005-05-31T18:19:00.000-07:00

i like this picture..even if my arm is big!! HAHAH! okay..from L to R.. Moi, JP, Ate Naty, My Crushie Juris, Anafran's guy CUZN..Kuya Jerome..and Ate Malou :)

2005-05-31T17:52:00.000-07:00

You scored as High-Class Career.
The best career for you are lawyer, doctor, judge. You are very determined and won't take no for an answer. You are stubborn, but it all pays off in the end.

High-Class Career

88%

Boring Career

80%

Helper's Career

80%

Family Career

80%

Adventure Career

64%

Journalist Career

60%

Model Career

60%

Artsy Career

56%

Sports Career

28%

Slacker Career

12%

Your Future Profession
created with QuizFarm.com

You can't always get what you want..

2005-05-31T15:35:00.000-07:00

Haha.. Sorry guys.. I know my post has been long overdue.. Let me think of stuff that I need to say..

Last Friday.. Leo went in my place.. Well we hanged out with mom.. We went shopping with her for Sunday, the fiesta. Cause that day I was to dance Tinikling.. People were calling my phone but I didn't answer..cause I know I can't go to the practice.. So yeah. I watched the last episode of House for the season that day too..while Leo was sleeping on my bed. I was crying watching House in my computer.. I just then realized how love works..

Love makes you do crazy things.. Love provokes you to do things you're not supposed to do.. It's always possible to love someone so much..but the only difference is that you won't feel complete with them.. It's possible to love someone so bad..but you can't be with them... It's possible to love someone selflessly that you'll think of their happiness first before yours.. That's what I realized while watching the episode of House..

Well of course.. I thought I related to it.. You know why? While I was staring at Leo sleep.. I know I love him.. I know it..it's just that..it can't be us.. THere are things that hinder us.. I love him..but there's something missing..There's an emptiness he can't fill in.. Maybe that's his reason too.. Yesterday I was just with him.. I know he still has feelings for me..but we just can't be together..Now it's all clear.. In the middle of love and being inlove..there goes that border.. I guess that's just the case with us..

Gregory House's ex gf or wife said.."You're right about me. I'm not over you... You were the one..you will always will be...But I can't be with you...[pause]It's so great about you is that you always think you're right.. What's frustrating about you is that you're right almost all of the time. You are brilliant..funny..surprising.. sexy..But with you I was lonely..With Mark, there was room for me.." I SWEAR TO GOD I CRIED WHEN I HEARD THAT.. I just did.. I know what she meant.. And I feel her..I really do..so if you're not that dumb..haha..you'll know what I mean..we mean.. ;)

Anyways.. We'll have another test tomorrow..good luck to me.. Oh well..I'll sleep more okay? Miss you guys!

Today..

2005-05-23T19:27:00.000-07:00

Today..I've been in my extremes...
Today I see a life so devastating..
Today I felt retarded and glad..
I also felt confused and sad..
Today seemed wrong but right..
It's weird..so heartbreaking..
So real yet devastating..
Today..today..I'm in two worlds at once..
Today I wished death would come fast..

I know the poem wasn't good..it's a disaster.. but oh well..

KEYS?

2005-05-18T14:56:00.000-07:00

The Keys to Your Heart

You are attracted to those who have a split personality - cold as ice on the outside but hot as fire in the heart.

In love, you feel the most alive when your lover is creative and never lets you feel bored.

You'd like to your lover to think you are stylish and alluring.

You would be forced to break up with someone who was emotional, moody, and difficult to please.

Your ideal relationship is lasting. You want a relationship that looks to the future... one you can grow with.

Your risk of cheating is zero. You care about society and morality. You would never break a commitment.

You think of marriage pessimistically. You don't think happy marriages exist anymore.

In this moment, you think of love as commitment. Love only works when both people are totally devoted.

What Are The Keys To Your Heart?

School Days

2005-05-18T14:37:00.000-07:00

Well.. school days.. what can i say? course..it's kinda tiring..but FUN. Well, I'm officially liking Patrick..haha!! =)) OOOooOOpppPPPsss!!! It's no big deal.. Just a kindergarten chrushy thing.. So that's part of school..

Tuesday, we had a quiz about dying, loss and etc.. It was an easy quiz.. EASY.. but I got 2 wrongs..stupid brain not processing the information I'm reading correctly..but anyways.. It's still good.. Today, Wednesday, we had a test.. got 2 wrongs too.. but oh well.. it's okay.. It wasn't that bad.. I also received my equivalent GED.. well luckily, St. Paul has that accreditation from ISO making my diploma equivalent to a senior graduation here..

What else? I read Kat's blog about being "inlove" and "love." It is true that being inlove is a state.. and love is simply caring..wanting the best for that person..But for me being inlove is maked by foolishness and fondness..On the other hand love is warm affection and devotion. Both may seem the same.. but ironically different.

I was once inlove..but now, I'm simply loving.. haha!! CHARING!

Good for 4 days? haha!

2005-05-16T17:30:00.000-07:00

Haha.. to my friends :) sorry I didn't post stuff for the weekend.. Simply because I wasn't home the whole time. Okay..update about my test..I got a mistake.. hehe.. I'm happy but mad at the same time.. MAD cause my first answer was right then I changed it into a new one..making it wrong.. SOOOOOO MAD! but that was then.. OH Well..

Saturday, what did I do?? Let me think.. Oh I remember now.. We went to the beach.. Santa Monica, to be exact at 10:30.. then, we went at Aiza's b-day party.. I got pissed because of people who do noy mind their own shit.. Anyways, after that.. I went with Gigi to practice for our "dance".. Well, it's nothing amazing.. It's TINIKLING okay.. BUT THEN.. we started practicing at 5.. we had in between breaks.. but we stopped at 11:30.. ISN'T THAT CRAZY!? oh.. my body was just sore.. oh my gosh..

Sunday came.. I was walking like a pimp..ahahha!! That's how my classmates would eventually describe it..but honestly.. my cousins were talking nasty cause of the way I walked.. My calves ached so you can see the picture.. haha... It's just funny so I want to share this..but honestly..it doesnt sound pleasant... they were like.. "We're you fucked up real hard last night?" haha.. That was just bad..haha!! My crazy cousins said that.. STUPID.. oh well.. Can't blame them.. I was just walked "funnily!"

That was Sunday.. Oh did I forget to mention that I didn't talk to Ex for the past 5 days? The 5th day was Sunday.. Haha.. I dunno..he never said hi and I didn't too.. what the heck why would I say hi first.. So I didnt.. And to make the story interesting.. I asked God if not talking to him was a great idea.. I asked him for a sign before I go to church. I said.."Lord, please show me a sign.. something I would be able to recorgize.. A white flower would be great.. To make me say that I'm doing the right thing.. That you have better plans for me.." And when I went to church and prayed again.. I saw white flowers.. I was like.. It's just God's will..

So today.. MONDAY.. hehe! I got my clinical assignment.. I'm going with our "adviser" to Kairo.. A Japanese Nursing Home I suppose.. Anyways.. I got a text from Ex.. He said.. and I would quote: "Hi Sing. What's up? I'm done being mad with you. I'm tired trying to be. I was hoping you would come here to cheer me up or something. You still mad at me?" HAHAHA! Maybe.. Me not minding him paid off.. Hahah! But I don't want to assume and all.. But not being the first person to say hi or something feels HELLA GOOD! I swear.. I don't feel like a doormat anymore.. HAHA! Which is a good thing of course.. So you can just picture out my grin.. HAHA!! :) anyways..

I was planning to join the choir.. if I will, I should be there this 7.. Dad doesn't agree with it tho..cause practices will be at school nights 7pm. I dunno.. I want to.. but oh well..

I guess..this is kinda long now.. So.. hit me up! haha!

Test..

2005-05-12T22:16:00.000-07:00

We'll be ending our Term 1-A tomorrow with a test of course.. usual ritual during Fridays.. TEST then LAB. Basically LAB will surely suck but I'm not thinking about it tonight. I'm thinking about my Test. It'll be about Infection Control and Caring for Patients with Immune Disorders.. I think.. Oh well.. If I'll ace this test.. I will maintian my A for sure.. and won't worry about tomorrow.. If I won't which is likely to happen, I'll do harder this coming term..

Next week will be the beginning of clinicals.. SCARY!! BUT I have to do it.. I was reading for 2 hours and my mind just can't process new information.. Maybe I'll go to sleep after doing this.. Cause I'm basicaly tired! EXHAUSTED!!! But Oh well...

GUYS!

2005-05-10T23:35:00.000-07:00

Okay..I would ask sorry bout not posting.. haha! I've been a LAZY ASS recently. Not doing home readings for school..not doing anything but become a PIG and a COUCH POTATO! That's just bad.. haha!

Here.. I was watching House today..and House was just mean to Cameron.. he went out on a date with her..but treated her like crap. I DON'T LIKE THAT SIDE OF HIM! Boys tend to be like that.. They're so INSENSITIVE of our feelings.. They don't care if they're hurting us.. HMM!!! Guys are jerks at times..or rather most of the times.. They tend to play the cat and mouse game..which is not nice.. CAUSE we aren't the cats at this point.. they are! So we tend to lose..no matter how hard we fight back.

Guys are jerks.. although not all..but most of them. They're what I call players.. I want to kick them in their butts or they're things.. to make it fair..haha..obviously it wouldn't..but that's how it feels being hurt..hehe.. so girls..FIGHT BACK! :D

I'm being OA now..haha..simply because I don't know what to write.. but that part of the guys.. OH!!! so true.

And..BOYS would rather lose their right arm than tell you HE DOESN'T LIKE YOU.. unless they are bastards like that..haha!!

Eureka! HAHA!

2005-05-06T16:18:00.000-07:00

Here.. HERE.. Here.. :)

I decided myself after chit-chatting with Gayan at the classroom that I NEED A NEW LIFE and A NEW BEGINNING. I would stop my craziness and move on. :) Isn't that great? HAHA!!! I KNOW GUYS.. you're even tired of hearing this..but THIS TIME.. Jesa's going to be strong cause my relationship with my ex wasn't really that nice and the break-up..that just sucked big time.. so :) I'm moving on.. hehe!! ;)

Anyways, I got 4 mistakes in our test..making my average go down..The sad part was that.. I wasn't reading the questions correctly.. HAHA! My mind was just off.. 2 questions I really don't know the answers..and the other 2 was just misread..so yeah..stupid! Well I can still make up for the last quiz and test.. so wish me luck for our last week this Term 1-A. After that, we'll be going to clinicals already... I wish I know other people..cause that would make moving on easier..but hey, I won't rush myself.. ;)

Dating would be cool for now..but serious relationships? NAH.. I don't think so.. While I'm in nursing school..my life will be on hold.. ;) hehe!

My INJURED FOOT

2005-05-05T17:42:00.000-07:00

Oh my.. my day started the opposite of great. I wasn't able to get up at 5 and do some stretching and exercise.. But that was okay.. Cause I slept of course.. GOOD for me.. and my body..but then.. I needed to iron my school uniform cause it was so wrinkled.. And I eventually did. To my dismay.. The iron fell on my freakin foot.. I SWEAR TO GOD IT HURT! :( But yeah.. at the point in time.. I completely forgot about my quiz and tried my very best to alleviate the pain.. But nothing..nothing helped..so I went to school with an injured foot.

That's how it looks like now.. DARN IT! :(

So yeah.. We had a quiz right.. Course I studied but then I studied only the other half.. I didn't know some topics were still included..so I was like.. "What a great day!" I got a mistake in our quiz because I confused myself. And what pisses me off more is that I CONFUSED MYSELF about the difference between the words ENDOGENOUS and EXOGENOUS..and that stuff is easy..Oh well.. -1 is better than -2.

So yeah.. that's how I started my day.. I hope it'll be better... Oh well guys..have to study about our test tomorrow.. It'll be about DOCUMENTATION and PHYSICAL ASSESSMENT. So wish me luck! ;)

2005-05-04T21:35:00.000-07:00

Haha..I'm so confused here.. I just made it a collage cause this stupid BloggerBot wouldn't let me pose alot at a time.. so here are some of the pictures from Six Flags.. :) Enjoy!

Trial

2005-05-04T16:19:00.000-07:00

Okay..this is just a trial thing from Hello-Picasa stuff.. Anyways..it's cool! :) I just added this picture from that software..and then it's here in my blog :) cool..hahah!

This is a BOOTH picture at 6 Flags. I'm with Kate and Leo

I CHOOSE Your Friendship

2005-05-04T15:37:00.000-07:00

Haha.. Why am I making this new blog of mine? I infact already have one in Friendster.. Okay, I am making this blog for my friends to read.. High School friends to be exact. I like posting in FRIENDSTER, but I don't want others who have access to it and read the delicate parts of my life. I don't even know them..so here I am.. making this new one. It doesn't mean I wouldn't update it anymore..but here will be personal.. ;)

If you see my title, it says I CHOOSE YOUR FRIENDSHIP. Wow.. If a guy says that to a girl, it would surely mean one thing.. and that he doesn't want to be more than friends with you.. simply that. Meaning... OUCH! It would mean emptiness and humiliation..Some of you might now what I mean..some wouldn't but if you do, that's what I feel now. I'm so embarassed to admit that it happened to me..NOT just ONCE.. NOT just TWICE nor THRICE.. but ALOT of TIMES.. And the worse part? IT's WITH THE SAME GUY!

Okay..I bet you're like..WHY ARE YOU SO STUPID? WHY? I'm not really like this.. Or that DUMB and STUPID..but I dunno.. This time has been different with any of my past relationships. Maybe because, I got too ATTACHED..too CLOSE and too DEPENDENT on this guy. It only meant talking to him everyday since last year.. Also being close with his family and him with mine. It meant, everytime I have gimmicks or lakad it's always been with him. Simply because HE IS THE ONLY GUY I KNOW HERE.. except for my classmates "now". I'm not allowed to hang out with anybody else but him.. So tell me.. How could this be any easier?

I read the book He's Just Not That Into You.. oh yeah.. I read it.. I believe it's true.. I want to act like an EMPOWERED woman. I want to act strong..and NOT JUST ACT..but live with it.. Stand up for my rights..my happiness..my dignity.. And it's humiliating to admit that after reading the book, I still made a mistake.. but now.. I'll try not to commit the same ones.. I'll try to become EMPOWERED.

Not talking to him for a day..wow..that's an accomplishment already.. I hope it's not just for a day..or a week..I hope till I get over him.. Till I put myself in pieces again.. Till I'm new.. It won't be easy..but now, I'm making a committment to myself.. And I HOPE..and I'll TRY.. to DO what is RIGHT and what's BEST FOR ME.